As mentally unhinged as an amphibian receptical

Have just been patronised by my computer-smug bastard, went to login and it piped up with the legend "You have 2 programs running. Running too many programs may cause your computer to run more slowly.If you find that your computer is running more slowly try closing down any unwanted programs" I spent a long time trying to think of a clever a retort at this rudeness but felt it would fall on deaf ears. I've been meaning to write another note for some time dear readers(numerous and adoring as you are) but sadly have found no time with which to write it. I know it seems a shameful thing to say given the eagerness with which you wait but sometimes life away from the clicking of my computer(seriously ask Ann it sounds like flipper has been captured and forced into a pc)is well distracting(hmm "well"? what an odd use of word, pleasantly obscure though so shall be left in). What is it that I wanted to share with you? I hear you cry?(two things here, I dont actually hear you cry but would find it pleasantly disturbing if I were to get a god complex and start hearing the voices of my minions-not sure that's the right word but we'll gloss over-the second thing is that I'm aware that the question marks are oddly placed in the previous sentance)Well let me explain:I was asked the other day by a dashing fellow(not a gent of swift movement the other sort)whether I regularly wrote in diaries and such at the end of each day, the answer to this was of course no(for you get absolutely no attention for writing in such things)but that I used to....the realisation filled me with glee and I resolved to delve through the angst of my teenage years and laugh that I would never have dreamed that one day I would be encouraging people to read my diary, deep stuff here guys bear with me....I open a page at random- "Dear diary, I have to talk to someone.I am so nervous I can't stop shaking,(passport)"Oh to be a 16 again-what was this passport related night terror?Was I in league with some underground group and selling them on the black market?Sadly I do not recall(though I imagine if that were the case it may have rung a few bells). There are a LOT of poems in here, each more profound than the next, this one i n particular tickled me imensley:For MeI'm writing because it's time to speak,Free from hurt and pain and greif.Attached happiness to love, mistake,Give it to those who can not take.And when you're flying and life's left you behind,Forget about crying, there's nothing you'll find.It burns and seers and the blood turns to tears,My head starts to pound through hurt lost and found.'Til I know it's too much,'Til I feel through his touch,'Til I search through his dream...And now that I see all that's happened I'm free,And I write not for you, But forever for me.Now I'm guessing what happened is that some object of my teenage desire probably walked passed me in town and, not realising my deep seeded love for him(in his defence it would be unlikely that I'd ever so much as said hello if I'd fancied him)had failed to declare that I was the girl he'd been dreaming of, sad times people sad times-obviously not as sad as the "How do I live without you incident"(have to give a great big shout out to Kate here in manner of cheesey radio presenter)but you know you have to keep up a certain level of dramatics as a teenager in order to understand the raging hormones flying all over the place. Now lets see,is there anything else?Can I salvage any sort of normal thoughts from my teenage self?Let us see...No, sadly not, listen to this:ValentineThe valentine in my head,Is not here, not in my bed.Asleep with dreams,Can't even breathe,Seals my heart without him here,Is he still there?In my heart he is.NOT IN MY BED????!!!I should bloody well think not, floozy! The whole thing is made even sadder by the fact that I had never recieved a valentine at this point(yes Katy,I know,I'll explain:except for the one my brother and sister amusingly sent me in year 8 from "a secret admirer"which I cherished for years until they admitted to the hilarious prank).Anyway I've run out of words again and should probably try to get some sleep,it being five in the morning and all.'Til next time dear and devoted readers, and remember, nothing is ever as bad as it seems (clearly).